The Interview: Brian Patacca
On the set of The Newsroom, he realized he might like coaching more than acting.
As a coach, reverend, and consultant, Brian has helped 724 actors land agents and grow their confidence. Check out Brian's website; his free training, Make Agents Want You; and his podcast, Brian Breaks Character. Connect with him on IG at @briansaysthat. —Steph
Tell us about yourself.
My name is Brian Patacca, and I am a life and career coach. I'm also a non-denominational reverend—I went to divinity school for three years (it should have taken me two, but there was a pandemic.) I work primarily with actors and other creative professionals in the entertainment industry, so writers, directors and producers.
Before I was an actor, I worked in advertising, and my professional experiences set me up to help people make their mark in the world: How do I interact with an agent? The industry? How do I put myself out there? Those are hard conversations for most people, and actually, I don't think it's an actor or artist’s job to be good at putting themselves out there. I think it's their job to be good at their craft, and secondarily this other stuff.
Other things about me, I live in Pasadena with my dog and fiancé, who's been my fiancé for three years. (We're more interested in getting a house than we are getting married, so we're not worried about the wedding part.) I'm originally from Cleveland, Ohio, and attended Northwestern University.
What is your training and certification as a coach?
I completed all of the course work through Co-Active Training Institute, and I attended divinity school through the Community Miracle Center in San Francisco. The training is rooted in A Course In Miracles, which some people may know through Marianne Williamson, who uses it in her work. A Course In Miracles draws on Christian stories to tell any spiritual truth. There’s no dogma, no doctrine, no religion, but a belief in something bigger than us—bigger than getting an agent, or more auditions, or a project on its feet. It’s aligned with a belief in a calling, that you are meant to do this.
Tell us more about your previous career as an actor; how does that influence you as a coach?
I have some authority in speaking about going on auditions and working with agents or managers. There’s something about having worked in the same arena as the client because you understand the traumas and successes of that space.
And I’m not risk averse—I’m happy to take risks or fail all the time. As an actor, you go on tons of auditions but only book a few roles, so I built an attitude of “who cares? Not meant for me. I did a great job, and someone else is going to get it.” I wouldn’t call it a thick skin, but you develop a different relationship to rejection. My deep-seated belief that if something is yours, it’ll happen, is contagious with clients. I love a “no” as much as a “yes” because I can cross that opportunity or individual off my list. Bye.
Did you have an “a-ha” moment when you realized the power of the coaching model for yourself?
I had a successful acting career in New York and Los Angeles, and happiness begets risk—you're a little more willing to try something new when you're doing okay. So, in this context, I began to explore coaching. One day, on the set of The Newsroom—Aaron Sorkin was sitting right there, and we're having a little meeting—I remember very clearly feeling like, oh, this is totally fun, but it is not as fun as being with my clients (and meanwhile I’d canceled on like four of them to be on set that day.)
I went home and thought, what is going on . . . I like coaching better than acting?! To be sure, I tried only being a coach for a while. Two weeks turned to two months, turned into two years, turned into me completing all of my coach training and divinity school.
What are you like as a coach?
I’m bossy. Animated. Incredibly optimistic and positive. I don’t think I’m a Pollyanna because I can also be dry and direct, like “let’s think about this a different way.” I bring all of my spirituality to every conversation, so when someone’s having a problem with their agent, for example, I will pause and say, “first of all, who do we want to be before we move forward?”
There’s a sign that hangs in my office behind me that says, “be kind, be kind, be kind,” which sums up all of the great religions of the world, so I bring a kind, generous, positive assumption to any relational situation that a client brings to me. For example, when someone is frustrated because they pitched and their product didn’t happen, or they can’t get someone else to understand them, or they’re not getting the yeses they want, I’ll take it back to a place of alignment with their morality and values.
Also, coaching is allowed to be fun. It doesn’t mean there’s not depth of emotion, or that it’s always fun, but it doesn’t have to be a chore. We get to laugh at the hilarity of humanity often. When the human experience is witnessed that way, we’re quicker to call ourselves out, and it’s easier to say, “Ok, great. Now that we know it’s a bunch of malarkey, how do you want to relate to it differently?”
What do you wish everyone knew about coaching?
I think coaching gets a bad rap. Even today, people think “life coach” as if you’re talking cat astrology or something. People don’t understand it, and I wish more people knew that coaching wasn’t devoid of therapeutic experience.
What is your vision for the coaching industry?
There was a part of me that used to think I should have all of the answers. I should know how to build a business, or how to get attention. I blame this on toxic masculinity, and capitalism, and myself—it’s hard to ask for help. So I wish coaching would reach a saturation point, because when you know a coach, or someone who has worked with a coach, you’re more likely to say “yes” to it.
The world’s a better place when people can ask for, and get, the help they want, and that’s what coaches do. I am so on board with that vision of the world.
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
