How does coaching apply to regular people with regular jobs? I read about how it fits into the lives of the coaches you interview—those people are often a little bit extraordinary though. What if you're a librarian or a mechanic or a real estate agent? How does coaching fit into those lives? In real world ways. — Anthony D.
Thanks for asking a question totally unsolicited, Anthony, and nice to meet you for the very first time ever. (I invited a couple friends to send me their (sincere) questions about coaching to launch this feature. I’d also love to hear from you!)
A few weeks ago, I shared in a Slack group that one of the most personally rewarding aspects of coaching is getting to experience the beauty and depth of people—and I mean that. Once you dive beneath the surface of “what do you do for a living?” or “where do your kids go to school?” or “do you know the Wi-Fi password?” you begin to uncover people’s wisdom and uniqueness, regardless of whether they drive an Uber or run a bank.
I think it harkens back to the dignity of a life.
But you asked how coaching might be relevant to real people in real ways, not why I am a fangirl.
First, I’d offer that at some point, everyone considers, or reconsiders, who they are, what they want, and what they value in life. Questions like these are the foundation of coaching, regardless of the client. For some, the answers have been in hiding for so long that it takes time to coax them out; other times, circumstances might change in our lives, prompting a revision. Take me as an example—I viewed life as a grand adventure for many years, saying “yes” to opportunities as they presented. This fueled my desire for freedom and possibility, and I loved it. But when my values shifted and I decided to take the reins, to choose a path rather than go with the flow, I lacked certain skills. I didn’t know how to trust my convictions and vision, for example. Building muscles like these is a great coaching objective.
We all have the ability to dream big, to imagine the potential of our lives. But not everyone has been given the same opportunities or permissions—this is where aspects of culture, family culture, class, race, gender, and even luck factor in. For some, coaching may be the first time they’ve considered their dreams, or dared to say them out loud.
It’s also important to note that the client determines the goals and outcomes for the coaching relationship. They set the agenda, and it can be as ordinary or spectacular as they choose. A real estate agent may want to reach a revenue goal, for example. A mechanic might want to be a better parent or partner. A librarian could harbor wild ambitions that have nothing to do with texts and their classifications. So what is standing in their way? What support do they need? Who are they accountable to? What else?
Unrelated to coaching, I also want to speak to this question as a writer and publisher because I am sculpting my interviews to feel extraordinary by what I include or leave out—and I’m aiming for magic. Questions about epiphanies (what was your “a-ha” moment?) and dreams (what is your hope for the industry?) generate a feeling of awe and sacredness. I hesitate to call this an editorial sleight of hand because I am not trying to trick anyone, but it is a conscious choice and intentional perspective. I am aiming for an inner truth that, I believe, can be pretty fantastic regardless of the realities of one’s external circumstances and life.
Since I began interviewing fellow coaches, it’s been heartening to hear how many hold a similar vision, to see coaching (and coach training) become more accessible to everyone, not just the fintech C-suite. Questions like this, illuminating what’s not yet clear, are a huge help, so thank you, Anthony, for kicking us off.
And as always, thanks for reading and subscribing. Please send me your questions! I’ll answer some myself and also invite other coaches to contribute in their areas of expertise.
—Steph
Do you have a question about the profession of coaching, or how coaching might apply to your life? Email it to me at stephanie@stephaniecoaches.com.